*fake smile*

16 07 2007

So me and the guy talked a few days ago. It was a very nice conversation about marriage and commitment. I have a very dear friend who’s getting married soon. I kinda feel like I don’t really like the guy. Not that he’s not a good guy, but I don’t think anyone will ever meet my standards for my friends. I mean, they’ve been with me through a whole heap of mess. And I don’t know if I’m willing to give them up for someone who’s less than perfect. I digress…So JJ and I talked about marriage and about the different perspectives and views on the same institution. I see marriage as spending the rest of my life with my best friend. With someone I can be carnally attracted to on Monday, but just wanna listen to NPR with on Thursday. Someone I can hold hands with while we walk through the park on Saturday night, but someone who won’t mind me sleeping on the sofa every now and again. It’s like I have a list, very different from the “lists” I made in high school. Now my list has little or no physical attributes. Physical stuff changes over time. What doesn’t change is intellect and respect from a good upbringing. That’s what I want for the rest of my life. And that’s what I want for my friends for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, no one they pick will probably meet that standard to me. So in the meantime, until I find that for me, I pretend, for me and them, to be happy…until I have what she has and can understand how she fell in love.




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