He loves me, he loves me not

22 08 2007

I think of JJ much more than he does of me. And, again, that’s OK. I love him dearly. In fact, Joi told me I was in love with him (didn’t really argue), but I think less of US than I do of HIM. I can’t lie, I think about him everyday, very regularly. I just don’t believe he thinks of me as often, or as deeply and strongly as I do. I think he appreciates me as a person, and I appreciate that. But, I don’t think he really thinks of US. It’s OK. I’m at the point in my life where I truly value him as a friend more than as a potential mate. He’s just too much of an asset to my life to risk.
With that being said, I do believe he’s sending me mixed signals. For example, just a few nights ago he sends me pics of his body-first the chest, then the back AND butt. How am I supposed to take that? What am I supposed to do in return? It confuses me. And that’s what brings me to this point, this place where I just drown myself in thoughts and desperately try to convince myself that I really DON’T like him that much. I’m really trying to work through this, work through feeling stronger for someone than they do me.

Whew! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…

Freshmeat was lookin kinda alright in some pics I saw. I’m not letting myself forget how I’m NOT attracted to his arrogance. And can’t forget that funk he was sporting for a few days.

I’m in need of a good date! Feelin like I’ve lost my mojo…




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