I might oblige (A boy named “B”)

21 11 2007

You ever have someone act differently towards you and it bothers you for much too long? One of those situations where there’s a disagreement that seems minor, but leads to a dramatic decrease in communication between you two? A situation where you know exactly why they’re upset but you don’t agree and refuse to concede defeat? If you’ll allow me, I’ll address one now about a boy. A boy named “B”.

Here’s where the problem started: basically, I don’t feel obligated to care. You see, I feel that if you’re not in my closest circle (and you know who you are), you shouldn’t expect me to react a certain way for your milestones or go out of my way to congratulate you for accomplishments. If I do, then I do. I’m not obligated, but I might oblige. I don’t think I’m a bad person because of this philosophy. If you speak merely out of obligation, YOU are not being honest.

He – the boy named “B” – felt that I should have sent congrats or contacted him to see if all was well after a big event. I honestly didn’t want to primarily because I already felt that I was already too informed of the situation and of other people’s lives. I didn’t feel like I had to send arbitrary good wishes. I didn’t want any more info. I knew I didn’t have to. He felt I should have. In fact, I would even say that during our disagreements about this (days or weeks later), there was a greater significance placed on our relationship by him while I intentionally downplayed it’s importance. I told you I was stubborn.

I don’t wanna call it a “falling out” because it wasn’t that serious to me. However, I have admitted that I’m stubborn and probably didn’t view the other side with an open mind. Water under the bridge.
I also don’t want to really stress it because there aren’t years of deep friendship to be lost, but an educated other with whom I shared many a conversation. I’m not really pressed for friends, but…you know…in the greater scheme of things it doesn’t matter. But secretly, you don’t want bad blood.
I will also admit to not being totally honest. I take that back. I was honest. I am honest. I just didn’t say everything that I could have said. Again, not obligated. You feel me?

Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda.

The point is that I kinda realize all of this now in light of a few recent happenings (or un-happenings). I won’t apologize (stubborn. I don’t think I was wrong), but I will admit to not being as supportive as I could have been. I will also admit to understating his impact on my life at the time.

Number 1 lesson learned: when big things happen, sometimes you should just grin and bear it.
Number 2 lesson learned: when big things happen, don’t expect me to grin and bear it.
I may or I may not. In the end, it’s my decision.

I might oblige.




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