You ever have someone act differently towards you and it bothers you for much too long? One of those situations where there’s a disagreement that seems minor, but leads to a dramatic decrease in communication between you two? A situation where you know exactly why they’re upset but you don’t agree and refuse to concede defeat? If you’ll allow me, I’ll address one now about a boy. A boy named “B”.
Here’s where the problem started: basically, I don’t feel obligated to care. You see, I feel that if you’re not in my closest circle (and you know who you are), you shouldn’t expect me to react a certain way for your milestones or go out of my way to congratulate you for accomplishments. If I do, then I do. I’m not obligated, but I might oblige. I don’t think I’m a bad person because of this philosophy. If you speak merely out of obligation, YOU are not being honest.
He – the boy named “B” – felt that I should have sent congrats or contacted him to see if all was well after a big event. I honestly didn’t want to primarily because I already felt that I was already too informed of the situation and of other people’s lives. I didn’t feel like I had to send arbitrary good wishes. I didn’t want any more info. I knew I didn’t have to. He felt I should have. In fact, I would even say that during our disagreements about this (days or weeks later), there was a greater significance placed on our relationship by him while I intentionally downplayed it’s importance. I told you I was stubborn.
I don’t wanna call it a “falling out” because it wasn’t that serious to me. However, I have admitted that I’m stubborn and probably didn’t view the other side with an open mind. Water under the bridge.
I also don’t want to really stress it because there aren’t years of deep friendship to be lost, but an educated other with whom I shared many a conversation. I’m not really pressed for friends, but…you know…in the greater scheme of things it doesn’t matter. But secretly, you don’t want bad blood.
I will also admit to not being totally honest. I take that back. I was honest. I am honest. I just didn’t say everything that I could have said. Again, not obligated. You feel me?
Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda.
The point is that I kinda realize all of this now in light of a few recent happenings (or un-happenings). I won’t apologize (stubborn. I don’t think I was wrong), but I will admit to not being as supportive as I could have been. I will also admit to understating his impact on my life at the time.
Number 1 lesson learned: when big things happen, sometimes you should just grin and bear it.
Number 2 lesson learned: when big things happen, don’t expect me to grin and bear it.
I may or I may not. In the end, it’s my decision.
I might oblige.