I can’t figure out if I’m being a good friend or if I’m being super selfish. Either way, I just wanna help.
One of my good friends is going through a very rough period. He’s having a hard time finishing his degree (but he hasn’t given up), he doesn’t know where he will be living in a few months and, worst of all, his father is extremely ill. His dad has been sick for quite a while now, but I thought he had gotten better. Whenever I would ask, he would tell me that he was doing ‘alright’. I never pressed the issue because I knew he didn’t like to talk about it. Last week, we talked and he finally just opened up and let me know what was really going on. I had no idea things were so bad. We talked for quite a while. All I could do was listen as it seemed he just wanted to get some things off of his chest. I encouraged him.
Since then, I haven’t been able to talk to him at all. I call and he doesn’t answer. I text and he doesn’t respond. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if he wants space to just be alone or if things have gotten worse. I continue to try and contact him everyday, but I still haven’t talked to him in a while. I am worried but at the same time I don’t want to be a nuisance. I don’t know what I should do…and I get upset at myself for even worrying about what I should do because it’s so not about me.
I’m just really worried – there’s no better word to use. He’s an only child and I know he’s just having a hard time coping. I want to be there for him but I don’t know if he wants me to be. It’s rough. I don’t want him to keep holding everything in; when we talked he said that he hadn’t told anyone what was going on. I wonder if he’s talking to anyone else. It’s just not good to hold all that stuff inside but no one else can feel the way you feel when your parent is sick.
He’s truly one of my best friends. I have no problem telling him anything. It’s been like that since September 1996 when we first met. I remember the day. I just wish there was something I could do. I love him dearly. You hate to see friends in pain but you don’t want to add stress by pestering them.
I just want him to be alright.
Please pray for him and his family.