d-i-v-o-r-c-e

2 06 2008

In the last few weeks, I’ve learned that divorce is one of the hardest things anyone can go through.  I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy, especially if my enemy had children.  My parents split when I was young so, as far as I was concerned, I only had 1 parent.  I never remember living in a house with 2 parents.
With divorce, you don’t want to choose sides but you want to maintain the relationships as they were before (in most cases).  It’s just so difficult.  Add to that the fact that people outside of the relationship rarely know everything that goes on and you have a recipe for hard times.  I only hope things get resolved and back to normal soon.

I am making a promise to myself to never get divorced.  If that means never getting married, so be it.

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6 responses

2 06 2008
Babs O'Leary

Unforutnately, Coop, that is not something you can say you will never do. What if your spouse wants to divorce you? What if your spouse does something dreadful to you or your children? What if your spouse tells you he is a doctor and you drop him off at Piedmont every day only to discover he has never been to college let alone med school?

Never say never.

2 06 2008
Trecia

This is an interesting take. I don’t believe in divorce and all, everyone around me don’t stay married for long but on top of that… mom n her ex divorced and that never bothered me but my lil sister so i guess i have an idea how hard it is ..

2 06 2008
steph

I think a lot of married people contemplate divorce at one point of another. The difference is that some couples understand that there is guaranteed to be hard times, harder times, and the hardest times and they decide that their marriage (whether happy or not) is something they will sacrifice for. Its so easy for people to bail out on each other when they haven’t been happy with each other for a few months or years but what they don’t understand is that their happiness might have come to them the Monday after they decided it was time to split… they simply failed to put in the work required to get back to where they started… in love.

With that said… I believe divorce is acceptable in cases Babs O’Leary mentioned. But most cases of divorce end because someone in the relationship was being very selfish.

2 06 2008
*Coop*

Babs – I totally understand there are some valid reasons for ending marriage. I accept that. What I don’t accept is when folks choose to end a marriage for selfish reasons, thinking of no one but themselves when their actions affect children and other adults. If there is no abuse, if their have been no lies, if everyone is living a decent life and taken care of and there’s still love between all parties, why divorce? Never say never, but I hope to never be a person who is so consumed with myself that I can’t consider the welfare of other including the children I created. When “I” becomes “we+kids” you can’t just do something because you want to. I would rather not get married (and also not have kids) than unnecessarily take kids through the drama of court battles and visitation. I never want to witness this again.

Trecia – I definitely think the type of home you were raised in forms your view of marriage and happiness. I grew up in a single-parent home which is probably why I’m alright saying that I might never get married. I’ve seen it done!

Steph – yep.

2 06 2008
Brit

Sis, I feel you. I blame a lot of my issues on my parents’ divorce. It was so hard on my sister and I and even though it was over 12 years ago, we still feel its effects. Unfortunately, because of what I saw my Mother go through, I do believe in divorce. She would have been EVEN MORE unhappy had she stayed married to my Father.

So sad. I don’t want to get divorced but at the same time, I refuse to stay in a bad situation for the sake of some vows said some years ago.

2 06 2008
Mel

Divorce stinks. The end. I think that’s why I have some of the issues I have now. Even though I was 2 when my parents divorced, I can still see how it has affected the way I am. Don’t EVEN get me started on my issues…. lol

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